Strive Purely

It’s a fine line between wanting to get better and needing to get better. It’s actually such a fine line that it’s often invisible.

I’ve been struggling with this idea of constant improvement lately. We have this idea embedded in our culture that “if you’re not growing, you’re dying.” or “if you don’t get better each day, you’ll get left behind.” I believed this to be true. I used to live my life focusing only on improving. Now, I constantly question it. It seems kind of insecure. Like we don’t know how to be content with what we have.

So it’s this question that needs answering; do I need to “get better” to feel good about myself? Or do I want to get better because I truly think that’s what is best for me?

 

Having cancer has restricted how much I can achieve on a day to day basis. This really threw me for a loop at first. It woke me up to just how dependent on improving my self-worth was. To a certain extent I needed to feel like I was improving everyday in order to feel good about myself. And not being able to consistently meet these lofty expectations left me feeling lost, with guilt and shame as my constant companions.

Question why you strive. Really sit with it and be honest. As you are the only one who can answer this question.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get better each day. In fact, I think you should strive to be “better” when you go to bed at night then when you woke up in the morning. But please make sure your motivation is pure and coming from a healthy place. And not from a stance of needing to improve to feel good about yourself. Cause needing to “do” something to feel good about yourself is a fragile place to be. What if that ability gets taken away from you? Then what?

It’s also okay to not get better everyday. If you’re tired, rest. If you’re burnt out do whatever nurtures your spirit. You don’t have to check each box every single day. You’re not a bad person because of it. You’re not going to fall behind from a couple days off. And most importantly, you’re inherently worthy of love simply because you exist. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself!

If this resonates with you and want to chat more about this, get in touch!

3 Replies to “Strive Purely”

  1. Think of you often, you definitely have been through a hell of a year, keep on being positive, it’s very important to heal our whole body and soul, keep on writing
    It’s so beneficial for you and inspiration for others, our love and prayers for you

Comments are closed.